Esther Kim

Living with severe depression and being in a healthy, stable relationship is scary as fuck. 

It's also really difficult.

Imagine feeling like a knotted up, frayed, and tangled ball of thread. Always on the cusp of snapping but somehow holding it together. At the same time imagine floating in one of those empty white spaces of nothing. Just a vessel for water and guts to flow through. 

That's me on a daily basis. 

As someone who relies heavily on emotion to determine my True Thoughts and Feelings--read: intrusive thoughts heavily centered on my relationship--having no particular thoughts and feelings on anything is hard. Near impossible on Bad Days.

It also takes all the work and energy of a stable relationship to a whole other level of stress, patience, and perserverence to (prove to my intrusive thoughts) keep it positive and healthy.